1. Drag tripod out from behind couch.
2. Get camera from drawer.
3. Attach camera to tripod.
4. Level tripod.
5. Move tripod back as far as possible.
6. Re-level tripod.
7. Meter the light.
8. Set exposure.
9. Set aperture.
10. Take picture.
11. Detach camera.
12. Put tripod away.
13. Open drawer.
14. Peer intently at dials on side of camera.
15. “Did I forget to focus?”

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Well, that explains it

“I consider myself the single honest man in a world of rogues and blackguards, present company excepted. In these conditions it is hard to accumulate wealth.” ― Jack Vance, Cugel’s Saga