“One of the many troubles of growing older is that it gets progressively harder to find a famous historical figure who hadn’t yet amounted to anything by the time he was your age.”

-Sebastian Horsley

Things I did not buy at the antique store:

• Two vintage cameras
• Electric football game
• Box of model train parts
• Telescope
• Assorted postcards of old-timey buildings

I have the self-control of a demigod.